Why Do People Ignore Child Sexual Abuse?
Why did my mother do nothing to stop my father from molesting me?
While I was looking at some posts on Facebook about child
abuse, domestic violence, human trafficking.. etc I felt this burning question
arise. Why do people ignore child sexual abuse? Most everyone can
admit that we are angered & enraged every time we hear about another child
that was sexually abused. But does anyone in that child’s life
(family, friends, and care-givers) report this abuse when they suspect it?
In the case of childhood incest and molestation, my family
kept the secret. It wasn’t until I was an adult that my siblings & I spoke
of it. It wasn’t until I was an adult that there was any discussion
between my parents & me about what my father had done to me. While I
was developing breasts and going through all the emotional & physical
changes in puberty, any chance my father had to brush up against or grab my
breasts – he would. Often times, this was done while others in my family were
in the room laughing about how upset I was getting. Like it was a funny
joke. Dad trying to touch my breasts as fast as he could before I would
slap his hand. Me screaming “Stop it! Leave me alone!” My mother
DID NOTHING! At 54 I still cringe when I think about it.
I came across a post which I feel explains WHY some
people ignore child sexual abuse. WhyDo Adults Fail to Protect Children from Sexual Abuse or Exploitation?
Was difficult for me to read, but I started to understand a few things.
As difficult as it may be to accept, there are many genuine,
compelling reasons that it can be challenging for adults – even otherwise
loving and caring adults – to take protective action, or even to notice, when
children are being sexually used or abused, or at risk of being harmed in that
way. These reasons or causes include:
- Overwhelming feelings (like fear, anger, or shame) caused by just thinking about the sexual abuse of children.
- Confusion caused by incorrect stereotypes about what kinds of people sexually use and abuse children.
- Physical, emotional, and financial dependency on an individual or group that would be lost (for oneself and the family) if such concerns are raised
- Self doubts of various kinds (e.g., “I’m paranoid.” “What if I’m wrong?” “It’s none of my business.”).
- Fears of various consequences (e.g., of acknowledging betrayal by a trusted and respected person, of being wrong, of being right).
(Each of these reasons or causes are explained in more
detail in the post referenced above.)
Looking the other way or ignoring child sexual abuse DOESN’T
stop it or help the child in any way. It may make us very uncomfortable
and we may think someone else will report it. But what happens if no one
does? Think about the answer to THAT question.
When I think about the years of physical, emotional
and mental abuse my father caused me, the inner child screams and cries again.
We must speak up about Child Sexual Abuse. This type of abuse
damages the soul of a child and “WE” are never given the chance to be loved
& nurtured the way God intended us to be.
It may be the most important decision you will ever
make.
And IT WILL make a difference in the life of a child.
I encourage you to follow
me
twitter.com/IAMicried
Open your eyes, as well as open your mouths. Incest is a silent destroyer of everything good and beautiful in life. Our children.
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