Dreaming about Prince Charming
Sitting on the window seat looking out my bedroom window. Thinking, there must be someone who will come and take me away from all this madness. Yes, one day, Prince Charming will ride up to our house and sweep me off my feet. Together at last! He carries me off to a place where we will love each other and always be happy.
Yes, I sat looking outside with these thoughts many times.
Where is he? Why hasn’t he come?
Growing up in the 60’s/70’s I adored Elvis Presley. Loved his music and movies. Still a big fan of his even today. I remember wishing that EP was my father and he’d come to take care of me. The day Elvis died, I wanted to die too!
Prince Charming - Why am I searching/dreaming about you?
My father molested me for many years whenever he could get me alone. His hands on me, fingering my vagina, his tongue sliding across his lips with anticipation. OMG, this is not what a father is supposed to be like. Early on, I dreamed of him divorcing Mom. Then he and I could be together (Dad & me). But as I grew older, something inside me said “This is not the love of a father. This is wrong.” Don’t remember at what age I was or what gave me the idea that something was not right. Each time he would thrust his throbbing cock and come in my mouth, I wanted to throw up. To help with this feeling, Dad would give me Brach’s Peppermint as a “treat”. To this day - I hate those!!
Looking back I wonder -
When did I stop searching for Prince Charming?
Have I found him?
My father was my monster growing up. Dad wasn’t perfect. Guess I learned at an early age that no man can ever be perfect.
The 3 most influential and important men in my life …
God, The Father, filled the void in my soul where a loving, nurturing father should be. I talked with him many nights before drifting off to sleep.
Elvis Presley, his music & movies taught me to dance and be happy.
My 2nd husband, for almost 15 yrs he has tried to show me what true love is all about. He's not perfect, neither am I. But he is My Prince Charming.
I encourage you to follow me
Open your eyes, as well as open your mouths. Incest is a silent destroyer of everything good and beautiful in life. Our children.
Posts
So brave of you to write so graphically. Those of us who experienced similar know exactly what you felt and still feel when you remember. Thank heaven that you found, as I did, your "Prince Charming". No, not perfect, but then, who of us is?
ReplyDelete