STORMY WEATHER


There is a period, in the life of an Incest Survivor, that I call “the calm before the storm”.  I go about doing everyday tasks.

Taking care of the family, kids, husband, cooking, cleaning, laundry, running errands
Going to work, meeting deadlines, working with co-workers to resolve customer issues, helping a boss with the flow of work load in the department
Helping a neighbor carry groceries, take care of their pets when they are gone, checking in on them to see how their day is going & how they are feeling

And so much more.  Sometimes, it feels like there is never enough hours in the day.  But everything works smoothly. No stress. No overwhelming feeling or thought. The calm before the storm.

But, then a smell, a touch, a sound, or something I see will bring on a panic attack, a nightmare, sometimes unexplained anger or crying. Now begins THE STORM.  There are ways to get through this storm just as there are ways to be safe during a thunderstorm or hurricane.  

  1. Breathe. I tend to hold my breath during a panic/anxiety attack.
  2. Stay calm.  It will pass. You are safe. It is your mind playing memory games with you. 
  3. Focus. Focus. Focus. My husband would hold me and keep talking to me as if to “call me back to him”. I would try to concentrate on his voice only. Find something you can focus on. It is hard, but with practice, it can be done.
  4. Relax & pay attention to YOU.  I’ve learned, it is your mind/body trying to tell you something. Once “the storm” is over, take the time to think about what just happened & why. This can be done at your own pace; When you are in a more calm, comfortable place emotionally and physically. Listen to your inner child/soul to hear what is being said. It is not a voice you will hear, like when a friend is talking to you. It is more like a feeling, a thought, which will come along and explain to you something you need to hear/know or something you need to do. For me, as an example, when I sat down with both my parents & my husband .. I told my mother about the incest. I confronted my father about what he had done to me. Days later, I noticed, my migraines & panic attacks had settled down or stopped completely. My body was telling me there was work to be done.  And I did it.

I am not a licensed medical professional. I can only tell you what I know that has worked for me.  Yes, sometimes, I fall back into the storm; But there is a rainbow. Its bright & beautiful. Hang on! Breathe! Your storm will pass. Keep your eyes fixed on your rainbow. It is your beauty from within shining through after the storm.


Open your eyes, as well as open your mouths.  Incest is a silent destroyer of everything good and beautiful in life.  Our children.

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