STORMY WEATHER
There is a period, in the life of an Incest Survivor,
that I call “the calm before the storm”. I go about doing everyday tasks.
Taking care of the family, kids, husband, cooking, cleaning, laundry, running errands
Going to work, meeting deadlines, working with co-workers to resolve customer issues, helping a boss with the flow of work load in the department
Helping a neighbor carry groceries, take care of their pets when they are gone, checking in on them to see how their day is going & how they are feeling
And so much more.
Sometimes, it feels like there is never enough hours in the day. But everything works smoothly. No stress. No
overwhelming feeling or thought. The
calm before the storm.
But, then a smell, a touch, a sound, or something I see
will bring on a panic attack, a nightmare, sometimes unexplained anger or
crying. Now begins THE STORM. There are ways to get through this storm just as there are ways to be safe
during a thunderstorm or hurricane.
- Breathe. I
tend to hold my breath during a panic/anxiety attack.
- Stay
calm. It will pass. You are safe.
It is your mind playing memory games with you.
- Focus. Focus.
Focus. My husband would hold me and keep talking to me as if to “call me
back to him”. I would try to concentrate on his voice only. Find something
you can focus on. It is hard, but with practice, it can be done.
- Relax & pay
attention to YOU. I’ve learned, it
is your mind/body trying to tell you something. Once “the storm” is over, take the time to
think about what just happened & why. This can be done at your own
pace; When you are in a more calm, comfortable place emotionally and
physically. Listen to your inner child/soul to hear what is being said. It
is not a voice you will hear, like when a friend is talking to you. It is
more like a feeling, a thought, which will come along and explain to you
something you need to hear/know or something you need to do. For me, as an
example, when I sat down with both my parents & my husband .. I told
my mother about the incest. I confronted my father about what he had done
to me. Days later, I noticed, my migraines & panic attacks had settled
down or stopped completely. My body was telling me there was work to be
done. And I did it.
I am not a licensed medical professional. I can only
tell you what I know that has worked for me.
Yes, sometimes, I fall back into the
storm; But there is a rainbow. Its
bright & beautiful. Hang on! Breathe! Your storm will pass. Keep your eyes fixed on your rainbow.
It is your beauty from within shining through after the storm.
I encourage you to follow me
Open
your eyes, as well as open your mouths. Incest is a silent destroyer
of everything good and beautiful in life. Our children.
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