1960s Midwestern American Middle-Class Family

Classic TV Show
"Father Knows Best"

I often refer to my family as “normal”.  1960’s Midwestern American middle-class family.  Dad worked full-time job, sometimes had a 2^nd part-time job.  Mom stayed home, raising the kids.  Once we were all in school (1975ish) then Mom worked outside the home.  She worked for the school system so she was home with us during the summer months when school was closed for Summer Vacation (June – end of August).  Sounds pretty “normal” to me.

But with everything I’m seeing on the news and reading about; we were NOT the “normal” family at that time.  Funny how the older you get, the clearer my childhood becomes.  Maybe it is because I’m understanding bits and pieces of my childhood more each day.

For example, the other day I had a phone call from my baby brother (9 years younger than me).  He’s having a rough time.  In January, his marriage of 14 years had ended and his divorce was final.  We talked about how much had changed for him in the past year.  Dad had passed away and was buried Sept 2014; Mom & Dad had sold the only “Home” my brother ever knew.  My brother was battling alcoholism & depression. 

We talked about what he remembered about growing up and what I remembered.  The two were NOT the same.  I married and moved out when he was 11 yrs old.  We were from two different eras. I was born in the 60’s. He was born in the 70’s.  Much of the time that my father was molesting me, my brother was too young & doesn’t remember anything.  One day I hope to talk with him in more detail about what happened. 

When my brother talks about what he remembers, he often speaks of it with so much pain in his voice.  Not that his childhood was painful. But because of the loss of everything he held so dear.  My brother told me how he had placed Dad on this high pedestal and he was finally seeing the verbal & emotional abuse Dad was giving our mother.  When my brother spoke of this you could hear him choking on the words he was so carefully choosing to say.  On the other end of the phone, I could tell he was softly crying so as not to be heard.

Normal. What is normal?  We were both in the same family, but had different views.  He revered Dad & Mom, and was now dealing with the ugly monster of TRUTH.  I, on the other hand, had seen the ugly monster of TRUTH as I was growing up; but so very much grieved for the “perfect” family you only hear about in TV shows or books.

A family in front of its home in a new housing development
Photo by Bernard Hoffman
Time.com

Sad but true – I don’t believe there is a “normal” family, “normal” life, “normal” anything.  For MY family, we each have a different view.  But what is common, is that we each grieve, suffer, remember, & cherish different things about our childhood living in the same home.  We were each “bruised” by our childhood differently.  We each have to heal in order to be a Survivor.  Whether it is by finally seeing our parents & the abuse for what it really is; Or by accepting the fact that there is nothing “Normal” about life.  We both must help the other thru their pain. That is how we both will heal and how we both will move on in our search for Tomorrow’s Rainbow. 

The storm has passed. See the rainbow?

It’s beautiful. Life is beautiful.

And you are beautiful too.

© IAMicried

Visions of Rainbows

5/31/2013

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