The Forgotten Victims of Sexual Abuse
FATHER/DAUGHTER INCEST
Sexual assault happens behind
closed doors, in our homes and by immediate family members. Daughters being
sexually molested by biological fathers are the Lost and Forgotten Victims of
Sexual Abuse.
Yesterday I had an emotional
meltdown; one that comes and goes from time to time. Today, I’m doing much better. After some coffee, answering private FB
messages, commenting on a few facebook pages and gathering my thoughts, I
started searching the internet (like people used to read the
newspaper back in the day). I felt like
I was soul-searching; trying to find other FB pages where incest survivors are
telling their stories of strength. Much
of what I found was groups, organizations and FB pages about sexual assault and
violence. But not one was mentioning
#INCEST. That got me thinking.
We are seeing more & more
TV commercials about “Stop the Abuse”, “Silent No More”, and even news stories
about local agencies working as advocates for #sexualabuse victims. Is it just me? I’m not seeing or hearing
stories of adult survivors of childhood INCEST.
We live in a culture where
everyone talks about the #rape, human trafficking, and molestation done to women
by strangers. But girls being assaulted by
their own fathers is still taboo. “Oh
no! We can’t talk about that! It’s too
personal.” Why not?? We talk about everything else. I think it is because we live in a culture
where what happens behind closed doors within the family structure REMAINS off
limits. Sorta like “What happens in Las
Vegas, stays in Las Vegas.”
There are adult women who continue
to deal with the effects of having their fathers
- take away their childhood
- damage their self-esteem
- fill their heads with lies & fear
- destroy their future dreams
I am a Survivor of Incest
& molestation by my biological father.
Every day I deal with the affects of what happened to me. It wasn’t just one time. My assault was
daily, for several years. He had
intercourse with me once that I can remember. But, the kissing my lips and sucking
my tongue, rubbing my breasts, and fingering my vagina until I came, all happened
on multiple times. All this happened
when the two of us were home alone. Many
times, he would walk past me (while family members were present) and brush up
against my breasts with his hands teasing me.
The more I flung my arms in protest, the more often he did it. It was almost like a game in front of
siblings & my mother to see how upset he could make me. No one did anything except giggle and point
fingers “Dad got (me) again!” I’m
cringing just thinking about it.
 |
| Childhood should be carefree .. ~ Dave Pelzer, A Child Called "It" |
Girls, such as me, grow up in
these environments every day. Families
think there is nothing wrong with this “game” that fathers play with their
daughters. But I can tell you that it is
degrading and destructive to the daughters for the rest of their lives. I remember having a private conversation with
my father a few years ago. No one was in
the house. I told him
- what he did to me has affected me every day as an adult
- it affected my marriage, how I relate with others
- it affected my image of myself
- that I had nightmares about him
- that I’d been in counseling for the abuse and was on medication too
What he told me after I shared
this information with him, I will never forget.
His words to me were “I had no idea that hurt you so much.” REALLY?? What did you think it would do??
“Hiding my pain and acting strong,
afraid to cry and show my tears,
I struggle with all this years later.”
~ Erin Merryn
Rape & sexual assault CAN
and DOES happen to women by strangers.
But there are many many girls
being assaulted daily by their fathers behind closed doors & in their own
homes. We grow up thinking that our
assaults aren’t as violent or as significant as those happening on our streets
by strangers. We are made to believe
that this is how fathers show their daughters how much they love them. We are told that this is okay and happens in
every home; Fathers teaching their daughters “How To Make Love”.
Incest is not talked about. Media
doesn’t cover OUR stories. What happened to us is too trivial. To me, there is
nothing more painful EMOTIONALLY than to be betrayed by someone (a parent) who
brought you into this world and is responsible for all your needs as a child. Adult survivors of childhood incest need to
know they are not alone. They need to be able to tell their stories and be
recognized as an Abuse Survivor. Our
emotional scars run so very deep. Some
of us never ever talk about what happened.
Whether
you have told your story or hide the painful truth of your childhood; PLEASE
KNOW that there are others who share the same “private pain”. Incest, our abuse, is equally important &
devastating as any rape or sexual assault by a stranger; possibly even more so.
The storm has passed. See the rainbow?
It’s beautiful. Life is beautiful.
And you are beautiful too.
© IAMicried
Visions of Rainbows
5/31/2013
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